Her FOB Songs Decoded?

I thought about her today...well, I still do everyday. I don't know if I'm over her. I don't really want to think about it much. A part of me hopes, believes that these as do all heartaches will eventually pass. It's been almost 3 years and a month since I fell in-love with her, and it will be 3 years next month since this heartache began. But yet, there is also a tiny part of me that wants, that hopes, that we can still be together...someday.

So I decided to listen to Grand Theft Autumn by Fall Out Boy. And the reason why that staement seemed emphasized is that because FOB songs are taboo to me. I don't listen to them much because it reminds me of HER, that crazed FOB fan. I do play a song or two when sometimes the thought of her is just too strong. Today was one of those days I guess. And while listening to the song, I checked out the pictures that I have of her. I stumbled upon the two pictures containing FOB lyrics. The same two that I mentioned in my other blogs last year. The lyrics are "So Progress Report: I am missing you to death" from the song I Slept With Someone in fall Out Boy and "I wish I was as invisible as you make me feel" from the song The Pros and Cons of Breathing. Last year I mentioned about the possibility or hope rather, of that having something to with me. Well, it may actually have. When looking at the said pictures, the date of when the pictures was uploaded in FB suddenly flashed in my mind. It was Sept. 25, 2009. That held no important significance to me back when I first saw the pictures and the date. The last day we talked was when Sept. 23, 2008. I wrote it off as mere coincidence. But then I remembered something. Sept. 25 was a thursday. She did a presentation in class that day. I did not pay attention to her while she was performing. I remember now, that I was also clenching my fist all throughout her performance. I kind of glance of her sometimes. She must have seen that. That maybe it. Her friend once told me before, when things weren't as worse yet as it is today, that she ignores me, iniiwasan nya ako, because tinignan ko daw sya ng masama. That may really be it. It was really not my intension to look at her that way, nor was it intended for her to take it that way. I guess, I was trying to show her I was in pain. Pain of the possibility of debarrment in my first sem in college, pain because I feel that we were slowly growing apart. I was fucked up back then...

The picture was uploaded exactly one year after that incident happened. Was it coincidence, was it connected? Was it something to commemorate the anniversary of us, both mutually feeling apart, distant. Does she treat Sept. 25 as "the day", the same way as I do with Sept. 23? Is Sept. 25 for her connected to me? If in the slightest chance that it was, that could mean it took her a year or more to get over me. Could she still not be over me now?... Please note that the last two sentences are just speculation. Keyword is; as always, IF.