Afternoon today, I was playing CS at my dad's laptop when I heard the sound of a trains horn. My imagination ran wild. Paranoid, I searched the surrounding area that could be seen through my room's window, kinda convinced that a train might be coming straight at our house. I eventually came to my senses and thought rationally. The nearest railroad was about 8-10 kilometers away from our house. The PNR(Philippine National Railways). It's located beyond Bicutan, across the SLEX. That's really far from here. There's no way a train would come smashing through our home.
This is the first time I heard a trains horn from here.
Still shocked but on my right mind, I ran down to find my dad, hoping that he heard it too or else I might consider myself crazy for hearing things.
I found my dad at the garage, doing the laundry. I asked him if he heard the train, he said yes, to my surprise and to my relief(that I wasn't crazy).
I asked him how was that possible. He said, It is because of the moist air, the sound bounces in the air and could therefore, reach farther. I just believed him, even though he always has a ready answer to all my questions that it is almost impossible to believe that he posses that much knowledge. But he's a man of science, a geologist, and geology is a branch of science so I just chose to believe his every explanation for everything and every phenomena I don't understand. Also, I think it's better that I believe in something rather than not knowing anything. I'm not belittling my dad or his knowledge and capabilities, it's just, he has his history of telling "kwentong barberos" and that sometimes makes it hard to believe in the things he say. But I love him, and if he say the sky is green, then I'll believe that the sky is green. (His favorite color) Haha! ^_^
So it's clearance day tomorrow. My judgement day. I'm terrified, but also rather excited to know the outcome...my grades. I've been waiting since last week for tomorrow to come. I thought it would be a long and agonizing wait, but surprisingly, time flew by so quickly. Except for tonight, I really can't wait. My heart pounds like shit. I'm scared. I want to pass. I need to pass. God help me.
think possitive...
think possitive...
think possitive...
I passed...
I passed..
I passed...
Help me...
Help me...
Help me...God.
Heaven Help us now. Come Crasing down.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
something that's very unusual of me...
I made new friends today...
Should I be considering them as friends? or just new acquaintances? I dunno. I'm not really good at these sort of stuff...because of something that happened to me in my youth which appears to have traumatized me. But, that's another story.
These people that I met are my neighbors. They moved in a few months ago. Yet, this is the first time I've spoken to them. I usually ignore them whenever I pass by. What served as an icebreaker? Basketball.
Just this Tuesday they had a ring put up in the street where our houses are situated.
But still, I didn't play with them or even approach them, despite my father's encouragements.
I told him that I don't want to befriend them just of the sake of playing basketball. That's not a valid reason. If I will to be friends with them, it will be because I want to, and not just because I want to play. That's what I told him.
I don't want to be one of those people that make friends just for the benefits...
Today, when I woke up, the ring was bent. And This afternoon, I saw the carpenters who built it, removing the ring from the backboard. It was a weak kind of ring. The metal hoop was thin and easily bendable. So I thought, why don't I let them put my ring up instead. Mine is much stronger and it is just lying around the closet. Thus, it will be a way for me to get to know my neighbors.I can use my ring as an excuse to talk and play with them. Haha! So I brought it there. The one who I spoke to was the mother of our neighbor's household. She agreed. And I watched as the carpenters screw it into place.
After eating dinner I saw my neighbors who were almost about my age playing. I approached them and asked them if I could play with them. With their reaction and our conversation, it appears to me that they wanted to be friends a long time ago. Their reaction suggested a sort of annoyance to them as to why I only approach them now and not long before when they moved. And a sort of weird feeling as to why I am so warm and friendly to them when in comparison to previous meetings, I was usually as cold as ice and always ignores them.
Mainly, the reasons why I ignored them has something to do with that trauma I mentioned earlier. And partly because I was shy and because I'm afraid of rejection or being ignored too.
I shouldn't have let these fears stop me.
Today, I have made a big step towards change. a change of attitude, a change for the better. I should change, I will change! Might make life a lot more fun.
Should I be considering them as friends? or just new acquaintances? I dunno. I'm not really good at these sort of stuff...because of something that happened to me in my youth which appears to have traumatized me. But, that's another story.
These people that I met are my neighbors. They moved in a few months ago. Yet, this is the first time I've spoken to them. I usually ignore them whenever I pass by. What served as an icebreaker? Basketball.
Just this Tuesday they had a ring put up in the street where our houses are situated.
But still, I didn't play with them or even approach them, despite my father's encouragements.
I told him that I don't want to befriend them just of the sake of playing basketball. That's not a valid reason. If I will to be friends with them, it will be because I want to, and not just because I want to play. That's what I told him.
I don't want to be one of those people that make friends just for the benefits...
Today, when I woke up, the ring was bent. And This afternoon, I saw the carpenters who built it, removing the ring from the backboard. It was a weak kind of ring. The metal hoop was thin and easily bendable. So I thought, why don't I let them put my ring up instead. Mine is much stronger and it is just lying around the closet. Thus, it will be a way for me to get to know my neighbors.I can use my ring as an excuse to talk and play with them. Haha! So I brought it there. The one who I spoke to was the mother of our neighbor's household. She agreed. And I watched as the carpenters screw it into place.
After eating dinner I saw my neighbors who were almost about my age playing. I approached them and asked them if I could play with them. With their reaction and our conversation, it appears to me that they wanted to be friends a long time ago. Their reaction suggested a sort of annoyance to them as to why I only approach them now and not long before when they moved. And a sort of weird feeling as to why I am so warm and friendly to them when in comparison to previous meetings, I was usually as cold as ice and always ignores them.
Mainly, the reasons why I ignored them has something to do with that trauma I mentioned earlier. And partly because I was shy and because I'm afraid of rejection or being ignored too.
I shouldn't have let these fears stop me.
Today, I have made a big step towards change. a change of attitude, a change for the better. I should change, I will change! Might make life a lot more fun.
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