something that's very unusual of me...

I made new friends today...
Should I be considering them as friends? or just new acquaintances? I dunno. I'm not really good at these sort of stuff...because of something that happened to me in my youth which appears to have traumatized me. But, that's another story.

These people that I met are my neighbors. They moved in a few months ago. Yet, this is the first time I've spoken to them. I usually ignore them whenever I pass by. What served as an icebreaker? Basketball.

Just this Tuesday they had a ring put up in the street where our houses are situated.
But still, I didn't play with them or even approach them, despite my father's encouragements.
I told him that I don't want to befriend them just of the sake of playing basketball. That's not a valid reason. If I will to be friends with them, it will be because I want to, and not just because I want to play. That's what I told him.

I don't want to be one of those people that make friends just for the benefits...

Today, when I woke up, the ring was bent. And This afternoon, I saw the carpenters who built it, removing the ring from the backboard. It was a weak kind of ring. The metal hoop was thin and easily bendable. So I thought, why don't I let them put my ring up instead. Mine is much stronger and it is just lying around the closet. Thus, it will be a way for me to get to know my neighbors.I can use my ring as an excuse to talk and play with them. Haha! So I brought it there. The one who I spoke to was the mother of our neighbor's household. She agreed. And I watched as the carpenters screw it into place.

After eating dinner I saw my neighbors who were almost about my age playing. I approached them and asked them if I could play with them. With their reaction and our conversation, it appears to me that they wanted to be friends a long time ago. Their reaction suggested a sort of annoyance to them as to why I only approach them now and not long before when they moved. And a sort of weird feeling as to why I am so warm and friendly to them when in comparison to previous meetings, I was usually as cold as ice and always ignores them.

Mainly, the reasons why I ignored them has something to do with that trauma I mentioned earlier. And partly because I was shy and because I'm afraid of rejection or being ignored too.

I shouldn't have let these fears stop me.

Today, I have made a big step towards change. a change of attitude, a change for the better. I should change, I will change! Might make life a lot more fun.